My “False Self”

I am taking a online course with the Center for Action and Contemplation, based on the book “Immortal Diamond” by Richard Rohr. I highly recommend anything by Richard Rohr, his body of work is fantastic! Below are 2 questions the course asked us to ask ourselves, and my answers. I thought you might enjoy. Get the book!

The false self is the part of you that’s fully in this world, you need it to develop, but if life works right you move into more of your true self. The die before you die is about learning to let “this world” and its cares go so you can experience a “truer” life while your here in the dimension!

What have I learned from my false self?

I learned I built a damn good container for my second half of life. I learned that sometimes, or most times, its tougher to have “tasted” a small piece of my true self, but not be able to stay in that place….

It can be a terrible longing to get back there, but I know its a process, God comes at us disguised as our lives, but its easy to lose sight of that in the day to day life we live. I learned I don’t want a FALSE SELF any more, I want to live in a “world” that doesn’t exist.  I want to snap my fingers and create “heaven”, the problem is I know I can, I struggle when I “fail” to get back there. I am learning to deal with that too.

How have I died before I died? Apparently not well!

I catch glimpses, when my kids say your nicer now, or when I can lose myself in someone else. Or the times I can only see the joy and beauty in the world, or in others. When I can be on my “A” game more, and see less “them’s” and more “us’s.” This too is fleeting, like a mist that disappears with the morning sun.

I struggle on knowing that its on “me” to get back there, God is just an outpouring of love, the rest is on me, how do I stay in the “zone” longer? How can I continue to see others, all others, as loved children of God? Their problems -more a reflection of me, than of them… My lessons to learn, to grow through, to help others with on our journey. I am working on the “soft sin” of perfection, in myself, or more importantly projecting it to others!

So I try to die a little more every day, look for the beauty and wonder in everything, know its a dream- and a joy to be here, experiencing the wonder of it all.

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